1. Is it possible that the helmet presses down on your brain?
2. I’ve read that an hour in the saddle kills up to a billion sperms.
3. Why would you go by bike when you can drive there?
4. A large percentage of cyclists die of heart attack.
5. Mountain bike tyres cause more erosion of the forest paths than horse hooves.
6. I have a clear stand on cycling on the pavement: Bikes have no business on the pavement because they are a threat to pedestrians.
7. It’s been proven that regular bike training reduces sexual desire.
8. Even though they try to deny it, all top cyclists dope – they are just always one step ahead of the anti-doping agency.
9. For the public good, the energy generated by pedalling cyclists should be used for something useful, and shouldn’t just get wasted in the air!
10. It’s a complete nonsense to buy a 3,000-euro bike. My bike also has two wheels and functions as well.
11. Today’s races are all about team work – nowadays, no cyclist would be able to finish the race on their own.
12. Downhill is for nitwits.
13. The hunched sitting position on the bike makes your abs atrophy, so most cyclists have sagging bellies.
14. Only a metrosexual puts on Lycra!
15. Our city is not suitable for bikes – we have cars, trams and buses, so there’s no space left for bikes.
16. Mountain biking should be banned because it disturbs protected grouses during their nesting season.
17. Why the fuss about nutrition? The best sports drink is beer.
18. Cycling is the biggest money laundry there is, right after motorsports.
19. Road cyclists should only use cycle paths because they slow down the traffic on roadways.
20. I think you should go in for something normal – like football.
